


No Different

by PurveyorOfBadPuns



Series: Dean Winchester, Gender Issues, and Self Esteem [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean in Panties, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Genderqueer, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Dean Winchester, Shopping, Women's Underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurveyorOfBadPuns/pseuds/PurveyorOfBadPuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long story short, Sam takes Dean out shopping for some panties. (NOT wincest. Not even a little bit.)</p><p>No spoilers at all except for the existence of Sam and Dean Winchester.  This is the third in a series of short fics exploring Dean Winchester's gender identity, starting with "Just Fine" and "Pronouns."  It's not necessary to read those first, but it would probably improve the experience and they aren't long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Different

**Author's Note:**

> A more lighthearted interlude in Dean's coming out process. This one's more action oriented and less emotional than the others; can be read as a standalone. Unlike the others so far in this series, this installment will have two parts, so stay tuned.
> 
> (If you prefer angst, fear not, there is more of that on the way too.)
> 
> (Edit: This installment will not have two parts; the second half got too long and required a different rating, so I will post it separately.)

"This is humiliating," Dean muttered to his his left elbow.  He kept his gaze fixed firmly on that spot to avoid making any eye contact, a tricky feat in such a crowded mall.

"Come on, Dean, you'll just tell them you're shopping for your girlfriend.  You've done that before, right?" Sam said with a big, encouraging smile.

Dean nodded, his face a fiery red.  "But this is different," he murmured, still not looking up.  Don't get him wrong, he was happy beyond hope that Sam had been so easygoing and even helpful about this, especially considering how badly most men would react to their supposed brother coming out as not exactly male.  But no matter how much Dean wanted it, he wasn't sure he was ready to… to take this step.  Even though it was silly, even though theoretically no one but him and Sam would know, it felt like he was making it _real_ for the first time since he was a teenager.  And, come on, it was still fucking weird that his little brother was the one helping him out here.

"To them, it isn't any different," Sam said firmly.  "Look, Dean, I know you want this.  It's going to make you happy, and you should let yourself do it."  Sam continued talking as he took Dean's elbow and propelled him forward.  "You deserve nice things.  You deserve to feel good about yourself.  Now I'll just be in the shop next door, and you can get me when you're done, yeah?"

Hesitantly, Dean nodded, knowing that his brother wouldn't let him back out now.  No turning back.  Watching Sam saunter off into the sporting goods store next door, he took a deep breath and stepped into the violently pink and black shop.  A saleslady immediately spotted him and he fought the urge to turn and run.  He felt her converging, and suddenly, irrationally, wished for some salt.

"Welcome to Victoria's secret.  Can I help you, sir?" the girl asked cheerfully, oblivious to his internal battle.  She was pleasantly plump, with a huge, dimpled smile and a measuring tape slung around her neck.  It was reassuring that she wasn't one of those intimidating supermodel types that tended to work in lingerie stores.  Dean attempted to plaster on his most charming smile, and though it wasn't quite up to the usual Winchester snuff, her cheeks flushed a light rose pink.  This was his element, sort of.

That thought alone boosted his confidence enough for him to reply.  "Uh, yeah, I'm shopping for some panties for my… my girlfriend."  He knew that he stuttered on that, and that his face was suddenly bright red, but the saleslady didn't bat an eye.

"How sweet of you," she said with a friendly, open grin.  "What size does your girlfriend wear?"

"Uh, large?" he guessed.  The underwear he'd worn in the past had always belonged to various fuckbuddies, one night stands, and the occasional actual girlfriend, given as a token or a trophy.  No one but Rhonda Hurley knew what he did with them.  He'd never been bold enough to do this for himself; never would have been, he realized, without Sam.  Despite his panic, he was suddenly immensely grateful for his brother.

"Can I show you some of our designs?" the girl asked, breaking him out of his reverie with a snap.  He nodded, hiding shaking hands in his pockets.  He was ready.

\--

Dean only bought three pairs of underwear that day.  Not the lacy kind he would've gotten in his youth, back when he was pretending that it was just a phase, a kink, but more sensible ones, ones he could actually wear.  One pink satin, for old times' sake, one black with just a hint of lace at the edges, and one in a deep forest green with ribbons that just caught his eye.

"I hope you enjoy them, sir," the young lady said earnestly as she handed over his bag.

"You mean my girlfriend," Dean corrected her as he took the ribbon handles.  The girl might have been completely fictional, but he was kind of warming up to the idea of her.  He was thinking of Cassie's smooth skin tone, with Anna's shape, and with a bit of a mental shiver he realized that she had Meg's harsh voice.

See, Sam?  Not gay.

"Of course, sir," said the shop girl with a dimpled grin, a little too amused, but not derogatory.

Dean blushed and made his way quickly out of the shop.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: My personal headcannon, based on what I observe in the show, is that Dean Winchester is genderqueer. However, I am not saying that he actually is, as that is something that cannot be decided by a third party, and I would only be convinced that he is canonically genderqueer if he said something on the show. I hope that my portrayal offends no one, since although a lot of it was taken from experiences of friends who are genderqueer, I myself am not. If you find something you disagree with, by all means let me know! I like to learn from my mistakes.


End file.
